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Tuesday, 30 June 2020 05:44

Tuning into the Untuned – Befriending and expanding your non suffering parts

Written by Dr Priya Fafat
Tuning into the Untuned – Befriending and expanding your non suffering parts

So a few months ago, I fractured my foot, which restricted my mobility, and to some extent gave me a preview of socially distancing and isolation. But in the process, allowed me to befriend myself a little better. And I noticed that when one part of my body was injured/suffering, the rest of the body silently and tenderly took over to keep me stable and bear weight. Not complaining and not suffering themselves either, but giving this injured part of my body all the love, care, patience and understanding that it needed to heal. So yes one part was injured, but the rest of it was not. Infact the rest expressed itself far more, came to the forefront far more, to not only tend to this injured part that was suffering but also support my entire self and each other to keep me as functional as possible, giving this injured foot its time to heal. The other foot, the legs, knees, hips, the spine, the arms …all of them. I became aware of their potential and their effort far more than I had ever recognised.


This same analogy can be applied to our mental processes. When we experience a negative feeling – anger/ hurt/ dissappointment/grief, etc….There is still a huge part of us that is calm, happy, satisfied, positive, confident, generous, loving, kind etc etc. However, often this fractured or injured feeling takes over and spreads like a wild fire…dictating the whole of us - our thoughts, actions, behaviour, hopes, decisions, thinking, etc, even our physical body sometimes. Thus leaving us empty and befreft to express love or kindness to our ownselves, forget others. Almost all the time, this happens without a conscious intention of causing this spread and/or overlooking our non suffering parts. Not that we don’t have the capacity, but often we forget/ignore the existence of this non suffering part.


However, understanding and consciously becoming aware that there is a magnifcient part in all of us that is not suffering, capable of love, balance and kindness, we can intentionally shift gears. We can become like the rest of the body tending to the fractured foot. That is what needs to come to the forefront. That needs to grow even bigger, expand not only to soothe and tend to this negative feeling, but also to uplift our other processes – thoughts, emotions, behaviour, decisions and such. It can break the unconscious, automatic, habitual chain reaction between emotion  thoughts  behaviour or vice versa.


Tuning into this non suffering part has immense power and can allow us to infuse changes at so many points in this chain and and not only stop the spread in our own selves, but also infuse a new direction, a compassionate and empathetic outlook towards others. Perhaps then we will also be able to better understand that each one of us, even the one who has just caused us hurt or pain is carrying some fractured or injured thought/feeling and thus behaving the way he/she is. That they are struggling to manage their own injury/baggage.


Knowing that we all have our magnificient, non-suffering parts, can we know these non suffering parts of ourselves and others better? Can we strengthen these parts of ourselves AND others even more? Can we tune into our heathier and loving parts which we perhaps have not tuned into? Can we always be aware of our healthier, non suffering, kind parts and bring them to the forefront more often, consciously, intentionally and especially when there is damage in one of our parts – be it a thought or emotion ? or when you see some one else strugging with his fractured emotions? 


Just being aware of the existence of these non suffering parts gives immense confidence. This is resilience. This is understanding that you always have the key to your balance, to keep your decorum in place.

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